How long?

This post i write in office, how long i didn't update my blog? How long i didn't focus do my own stuff?How long i had been played Dota every night? How long i didn't follow life's my planning? I don't know how long, i also don't know why i stop and i will be like that. I had studied Multimedia Design for three years, end of last year start work. Until today i gonna change third job, and i thinking not to do designer anymore. T_T After graduate i have learned a lot of skill, like photoshop, illustrator, dreamweaver, CSS, flash, photography, even now i also have a knowledge for car sticker design. But the main thing is no one is the best/good one; and i don't know which one i have to choose for my life, i getting blind for my future. Everyone have their stress, including me. But some of my friends alway looking at me and said "You don't have stress one lah, everyday so happy". I can say they are wrong, everyday happy not meaning they are no stress. Even some of people doesn't know they have stress. My horoscope was Cancer, people said Cancer will love home a lot always back home. For few years ago yes i am Cancer, but not now. I have my goal, but i cannot make my decision. What is the problem am i facing? I don't know, maybe is i am the only one child in home. My sister and brother all oversea, but i can't...
so i have to stay in Malaysia and maybe one day i can go everywhere i want. Waiting for mmy brother and sister to come back, but i feel the time was going through too fast. Feel not going to continue to write this, will be continue when back home...